I’m sitting alone in the food court at the university where I work. It’s “Reading Day,” the day where students have time to reflect on what they’ve learned during the semester and prepare for final exams.
This place is empty, save for a few students who are having a late lunch or are meeting up with friends to recap the past 16 weeks. I’m sitting in the back corner, cloistered away in a little booth that offers me a panoramic view of the place.
I have four days until my 50th birthday. Technically, this blog will have reached its end. The project will be finished. I’m supposed to have “found fifty” by then.
These past two weeks, I have felt completely overwhelmed by a wide range of feelings – one minute, excited by the prospect of having reached the half-century mark, and the next, disappointed for not having given myself the permission I needed to focus on my dreams over much of these past 50 years.
Some days, I feel like a complete fraud.
It’s time to take advantage of my own “Reading Day”. I need to study my notes. Summarize where the high points of my life have been, analyze those moments that haven’t offered me an opportunity to learn and grow, and synthesize a new plan for life as I want it to be.
Hoping for a passing grade. 🙂